people who annoy you

Is there anything more annoying than an insufferable snob?

I meet them all the time. I used to let it bother me, whereas now I allow them to take the stage and proudly display their ignorance — it truly is a spectacle I thoroughly enjoy taking in.

These types are obsessed with the rules, some sort of unwritten doctrine all those plagued with Dunning Krueger have agreed to worship. I’m sure you’ve heard the following regurgitated by your cousin Jeff, who recently achieved his WSET Level 2:

-you absolutely cannot wear perfume while tasting or drinking wine - ever - it will overpower the aromas!

-your sommelier pin must be on display your polyester suit at all times!

-adding ice to your wine is sacrilege!

-never hold the wine by the goblet - it will mess with the temperature!

-drinking wine directly from the bottle is disrespectful to its maker!

I’m sure there’s many more, but I stopped paying attention so long ago I’ve thankfully forgotten the rest.

The point is, wine is a choose-your-own-adventure experience - sullying it with pointless, low IQ decrees robs it of its magic and joy.

Wear the damn perfume! Throw a few cubes in your Sauvignon Blanc! Proudly hold the wine by the goblet! Neck that bottle!

And for the love of God, throw your damn sommelier pin into the abyss and never look back.